Jarrett-Carter.com

So I’ve got about half my exit sheet filled with signatures, validating that I won’t steal my office key, parking pass, or send spam from my email address. I’ve shared a few laughs with people I’ve grown to love over the last few years, but only a few as I still have tons of work  to do.

Will check back in later.

Most guys around the country took off today to master the nuances and strategies of the latest Madden NFL Football release. If you happen to be one of those jokers that took off work to get it in, solidarity, brother.

It’s hard work trying to work with the Ravens on that doggone game.

Even basement dwellers need a break every now and then, so imagine how a full-time blogger/pr professional would feel?

To that end, the wife and I are headed west to Las Vegas. Sun, shows, shopping and slots are ahead, worries can stay here in Baltimore. I’m too lazy to write posts ahead of time, so I will see you all when I get back.

Regular activities will resume on July 3.

Peace.

Most of us know about the Chuck Norris facts. You know, like its a fact Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits?

Well, the fact is that our brave men and women serving in the armed forces have taken these facts to heart, as a small shrine dedicated to Norris “putting the laughter in manslaughter” has been erected in Iraq. There are even reports that Chuck Norris facts are being left in toilet stalls across Iraq, and even in Fallujah.

The Chuck Norris facts are indeed hilarious, and if this is something that gets the soldiers through their long days and nights, more power to them. But with all of the facts on Cuck Norris, one fact remains; he’s got nothing on Mr. T.

After all, Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

Inspired by a recent post by my good buddy over at Cousins of Ron Mexico, I’ve decided to waste a valuable section of the Internet on why I hate graduate school. It’s not the professors, it’s not the program, and it’s not the work involved to make more money and life easier.

It’s the time necessary to get it done.

I hate doing things outside of what I want to do. You are probably saying, “that’s life, you freakin’ idiot,” but it’s true. It’s the same reasonings why my wife and I recently beefed about household chores, and why I found blogging to be a great hobby instead of committing fully to the work I get paid to do during the day. (Boss, if you are reading this, I’m just kidding. That goes for you too, Mr. Potential Employer)

I don’t think I’m lazy, I just like to do things when I’m ready and motivated to do them.

Why do I have to write a paper on public relations in Russia by March 5th? Why not a series of sections throughout the semester? How about not assigning it at all and just giving me a case study? Why am I even in this program? I don’t want to do any of this.

Some people, like my wife, enjoy the total educational experience of earning a degree. Me? I only like going to class and listening to brilliant people for a little while. Giving their experiences and communicating how I can be a better professional through the wisdom of said experiences. Textbooks don’t do that, term papers don’t do that, and the degree certainly doesn’t do that.

But if school didn’t do all of that, then everyone would be clamoring to get advanced degrees, and society would have to find another way to discriminate against bright and capable people. I get the game, it’s just frustrating to have to play it to win at the game of life.

As I’m sitting at my desk with a mouth full of food from Kentucky Fried Chicken, I had a sudden epitome about my place in the universe. My first assumption was that the grease and fat were really getting to me, and pretty soon I’d be limping around my office telling Elizabeth about the big one. But seriously, I just realized several important things about myself while eating like a coon.

Professional Stature -You know you have arrived at a good place in your career when you can consume a chicken box in full view of everyone without repercussion or judgment.

Health Consciousness - I actually chided myself to the door, at the counter and while leaving KFC for eating this junk, only to remove the majority of the skin off the bird when I started my lunch. Now if that ain’t health conscious….

Spiritual Growth - Even over a box of the ghetto poison, I still say grace for the Lord’s blessing. And then I pray that he doesn’t take me out with a heart attack.

Historical Reflection - I actually thought about how the ancestors fought and died for us to have the opportunity to eat like clowns and not be ridiculed or discriminated against for it. And then I wondered which Negro Col. Sanders stole the original recipe from back in the day.

Like most good parents, Bill Cosby tried his best to discipline the hip-hop generation on producing and consuming rhymes that strengthen horrible cultural stereotypes. He chided them, yelled at them, tried to counsel them, and even wrote a book about it. Now, he’s going to do what most parents do at the end of their rope with troublesome children.

He’s going to embarrass the hell out of them with his new hip-hop album, State of Emergency.

Reported by AllHipHop.com back on Jan. 31, Cosby’s album will explore teen pregnancy, drug abuse, black-on-black violence and the shrinking value of education in the black community. It will contain no profanity or denigrating lyrics.

I’m all for this. If you look around the blogosphere and around black culture, many feel that Cosby is way out of line for speaking to black people in a way that seeks to isolate and shame us into his ideal of a cultural utopia. A culture where we don’t kill each other over non-sense, desire to go to high school and college, don’t create lifestyles that model criminality, and one where our women are uplifted and revered. And if Cosby feels that his message hasn’t been warmly received so far, the extreme measure of putting it on wax may communicate that he isn’t playing.

It’s much easier and more comfortable for us to say he’s talking too harshly at and about black people rather than admit that he’s right. Not about all of us, because all of us aren’t thugs, or uneducated buffoons, but there’s enough of us doing it that everybody outside of our communities knows what going on. Kind of like the baby in church who says cute and embarrassing things about their family out loud. After the baby says it enough, you know the baby has something he wants to get off his chest about what he’s going through.

It’s too bad that we get caught up in the details rather than the ideals on how to heal our bothers and sisters. Cosby’s album might be an artistic flop, but you know it’s got to be a true State of Emergency when a beloved 70-year-old comedian has to compile the rap version of What’s Going On before one of our more contemporary and more talented rappers would do it.

If you’ve come here from one of my other 75 blogs, disregard this message. If not, welcome to the new look. Hope you enjoy it. I’ll be back up tomorrow with details about my trip to New York, and my interview with Kevin Liles.

I don’t know whether to laugh or call Al Sharpton, but I’ll let you be the judge of the first black beer pong player, courtesy of YouBeenBlinded.

As for my opinion, it looks like something straight off of MadTV. BET is too narrow minded to think up something like this, so I’ll give the producers of this video credit. On the other hand, the dude J-Murdah just isn’t that funny, and that kind of makes it more offensive.

If you’re going to be mildly offensive, at least be hilarious. It was the magic elixir for Archie Bunker, and every significant black comic in history. This has potential, but Jesse and dem’ should have their heads on a swivel for this one pretty soon.

For the few of you that read regularly, thanks a million. I know I haven’t been productive on updating this blog regularly, but one of my primary professional ambitions is to make this blog as viable and entertaining as the others I maintain, and to keep you updated on my thoughts on culture, life, and everything I experience in between.

For now and the near future, I’ll still be doing my thing at Morgan State, I’ll still be a student at Towson, and I’ll still be trying motivate myself to become the most prolific writer in the history of mankind. All that behind bettering myself as a servant to God, my wife and family, and all of my friends.

See you next year.